Wow, it’s been WAY more than 6 weeks since I updated……actually November 17th was my last update…..almost 3 months. It’s hard to update when there’s really nothing new to report!
Anyway, I wanted to share some of what God is doing in my life as we wait. This actually happened in December, but the lesson still hold true in my life today.
Remember this is December 1, 2010:
Yesterday afternoon I read Psalm 5:3 – “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.” I meditated on this verse all day yesterday….what it meant and what I should do about it.
Last week my sister Mary told me that she dreamed that we got the call to go to Memphis to pick up our daughter. With each of our adopted children I’ve had dreams……very vivid specific dreams……dreams that actually happened. I’ve never dreamed about other things……only the children that God gave our family though the miracle of adoption. So I’d been thinking about Mary’s dream and hoping that maybe, just maybe this was God’s way of telling me to be ready……and slowly my hope went from trust in God to trust in a dream.
Well this morning my mind was still meditating on Psalm 5:3. I was driving home from the Y, so it was early in the morning…..yet my mind was not in a fog……and if you know me….NOT a morning person……my brain is normally in a fog until about 9 o’clock. So I began to pray. I basically said, “Lord here I am early in the morning coming to you.” I confessed my misplaced faith and I confessed my tiredness in the wait.
For the past few weeks I’d been asking God to bring our baby “Hope” home by Christmas and as I prayed I realized that perhaps that was not God’s plan for our family. So, rather timidly, I “ordered my prayer” to God asking that if He would have our baby “Hope” in our arms for Christmas I would praise Him, but if He had a longer wait…….a year or more…..in store for us…….I would praise Him in that wait too!
I felt as if I was giving my heavenly Father all the hopes and dreams, desires and plans for this little baby and acknowledging, “You are in control and sovereign over all that happens.” I will admit that part of me felt a huge burden being lifted, but another part of me was scared. I no longer had any control…..I was resting in my God. And I know He is always good, but what if he needed my help a little (!?!?!)……I was no longer in the position of “helping” God. It is a good place to be……but scary too!
A few hours later that day, it was nearing the end of the kids rest time, I was finishing up some “work” on the computer when my phone rang……the special Life Choices ring. I knew right away it was LC, but surprisingly, I was calm. I answered and Judy asked if I had time to talk…..like I would say no, right?!?!? Judy told me that a birth mom came to Life Choices today with the desire to make an adoption plan for her baby who is due on the 10th of December! WOW, I could not believe it!! Judy wanted to know if they could prepare our profile to show to this birthmom on Friday. We, of course said yes.
It was as if God was waiting for me to submit to HIS authority and reign in my life before answering my prayer. I don’t know if we will be chosen, but it’s so great to know that our profile will be shown!
We were not chosen to parent this precious baby, but God used this situation in MY life, to draw me closer to Himself. To show me hidden sin and to teach me that He does all things well. And so we wait…..resting in the knowledge that God’s time is perfect beyond what we could ever imagine.
House of Smooches 